Saturday, November 12, 2011

Staying a Virgin

Another article at the Jakarta Post.


Staying a Virgin

For so many Indonesian women it is importan to stay a virgin until married. Virginity has a different meaning to an Indonesian than an American. For an American it simply means no sex. But to Indonesians it includes not even kissing on the mouth.

Very few Americans are virgins when they marry, perhaps one out of ten. For most Americans sex starts at age sixteen or even younger. And kissing starts at age twelve or even younger. There are even kissing games for children at parties.

For some women, the effort to stay a virgin is a struggle between their desire and their worries over what others will think of them. I give as an example a small part of my book, An Indonesian Love Story by an American Man. This part of the story ends suddenly because the rest of it is too naughty for a newspaper. Anyone wanting to read the rest must buy and read the book

With thanks to all the friends, likes, and subscribers on Facebook

Maria, the Troublesome Love of My Life

Maria had the loveliest variety of all my favorite colors, many shades of deep brown. She was deep brown eyes on deep brown skin with deep brown and black hair. She was the sexiest and horniest virgin I ever met, and became hornier the longer she was with me and the longer she kept her virginity. She was the only woman I was with for very long who stayed a virgin with me, and our love for each other was so deep that it did not matter…

We first met at the mall…When we met she was so shy she shook my hand, with her arm stretched out as far away as possible. We ate and then went to my home.

We began talking. She had always begun very slowly with her boyfriends. After three months they would hold hands. At six months a quick kiss on the cheek, never anything more. She could see I was frustrated at the thought of no sex. “Maybe we should just be friends.” she said with a smile.

I sat close to her. I began touching her ears, rubbing and squeezing them between my fingers. “What are you doing?” she said with that same smile.

She had the most sensitive ears of any woman I had ever met. Just by touching them she became very excited. She was breathing hard. Her eyes were rolling back in her head. A look of pure pleasure was on her face.

When I began to kiss, nibble and lick them, she went crazy with excitement. She began moaning. Within five minutes she climaxed.

So I began to kiss, nibble, and lick on her neck. She again went crazy with excitement. Again she began moaning. Again she climaxed within five minutes.

We looked at each other. “What did you do to me?” she asked.

“I just brought out what was inside you. You have never climaxed before, never had an orgasm, have you?”

“No. So those were orgasms?”

“Yes. Do you want more?”

“No! Yes…I don’t know.”

“Relax. We don’t do anything you don’t want. That is always true. But I think you do want this. Your body sure wants this, or you would not climax so easily. Do you know how lucky you are? There are many women who have a very hard time climaxing. There are some married women who wait years to climax.”

“Really? But I’m a good woman. I’m not some slut. I’m always modest. And I want to stay a virgin until marriage. It’s very important to me.”

“OK. So we don’t do anything you don’t want. But you do want this. Deep down you know you want this. Just trust me and let me try. If you don’t like it…after one hour, we will stop…”

She laughed at that, then cried out, “No! I must stay a virgin.”

“OK.” Then I began kissing her neck and ears again. After a few minutes I began touching her breasts. She was getting even more excited. In a few more minutes I had her shirt and bra off. She looked down and was surprised and embarrassed to be half nude in front of me. She had never done anything like this before.

She covered her breasts with her hands.

I said, “I think it’s too late for that. I’ve already seen and touched your breasts.”

“No! Please…look away. Please close your eyes. Please don’t look.”

I put one hand over my eyes, then opened up my fingers.

“No! Please…don’t look.”

I put my arms around her and tried to kiss her lips.

“No! Please…I must not kiss until I’m married. It’s very important. My husband must be the one to give me my first kiss on our wedding day.”

“OK. But you let me kiss your neck and ears a lot. And you liked it so, so much. So much you climaxed.”

She put one hand to her ears and neck, while the other arm tried to cover her breasts. I could see they were lovely, stood up shaped like rounded pyramids.

“My ears and neck are sore,” she said.

“That’s from the bites. But you liked them.”

“I did, very much. But they feel so sensitive now.”

“Then if you want to do more, you must let me touch your breasts. OK, if you don’t like it…after one hour I will stop.”

She laughed again. I held her hands….

For several weeks she would only let me kiss her on the neck, ears, and breasts. She refused to take her pants off, and became very fearful and panicked if my hands tried to undo her zipper.

But she enjoyed my….


An American Man is the pen name of the author of An Indonesian Love Story by an American Man, the true story of a westerner’s love and experiences with Indonesian women, a romance and love poem to the people and land of Indonesia.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Why ManyIndonesian Women Like Bules Part II

Another post from my blog at Jakarta Post, crosspoted.

Why Many Indonesian Women Like Bules Part II

In Part I, I talked about the fact of just how many Indonesian women seem to prefer bules. In Part II, I wish to talk about all the many false reasons about why people think this is so.

1. Bules are more handsome.

No, false. I say this as a bule. Some of us are handsome, some are not handsome at all. I think of myself as a little bit attractive, but not very. I have seen many Indonesian women with bules who, honestly, in their home nations these men would be seen as downright ugly. I once met an Australian man with a huge nose and awkward looking face, chubby, not very tall, who was married to a very lovely woman from Bali. She did not marry him for his looks.

There may be some Indonesian women who think all bules are handsome because of what they see in Hollywood movies. But that changes very quickly once they actually meet bules. Some of the women I have met admitted that they were very glad I was not so white skinned as most bules are. (In skin, eyes, and hair color, I’m darker than most bules, but ligher skinned than most Indonesians.) While they were curious to meet and see up close someone with blond hair or blue eyes, the thought of kissing or sex with such a man was strange to them. That Indonesians call foreigners bules or albinos (people without any skin color) says just how strange some of us look to most of you.
It is wrong to say that all people of a certain group are a certain way. There are always a mix of handsome and not so handsome, beautiful and not so beautiful, among any group of people.

2. Indonesian women are with bule men because they want their money.

 No, false. Most Indonesian women with bules are not poor, they are middle class or even wealthy. Of more than a dozen Indonesian women I have been with, only one was from a poor background. Only one ever asked me for money. One of the women I was with was from the wealthiest family in her hometown. Some of the women bought gifts for me, just as I bought gifts for them. Most of them could afford to travel with me or go to the nice restaurants we went to. And the good places to travel to in Indonesia and the best restaurants I usually learned about from these women.

Most of the very poor in Indonesia are from families that cannot afford school, so they don’t learn English. This means most of the Indonesian women a bule will meet are college educated, often professional women like teachers or other professionals. Several women I was with owned their own businesses.

This makes Indonesian women quite different from other Asian women a western man meets. In the Philippines, Thailand, or Vietnam, the women who want to know you ARE poor. They do just want your money, or to leave their very poor countries. It’s not unusual for a Filipina to marry a foreigner, then ask for money to help out every relative she has. There are entire towns in Thailand supported by young Thai women marrying older foreigners, then leaving them once their money is gone. But such an attitude is not that common for Indonesian women with bules.

4. Indonesian women are with western men because they are looking for sex, or at least curious about it.

Yes, true in many cases. That is what I will be discussing next week in Part III.
An American Man is the pen name of the author of An Indonesian Love Story by an American Man, the true story of a westerner’s love and experiences with Indonesian women, a romance and love poem to the people and land of Indonesia.

This post is crossposted at my Author’s Blog at and my Facebook page at

Monday, September 19, 2011

Why Many Indonesian Women Like Bules, Part I

Yet another post from my blog on the Jakarta Post.

I think most of us are well aware of this, there are many Indonesian women who chase after bules. I have seen and experienced this myself many times., though I certainly do not claim to be very handsome, only average looking in my own country.

This is what this blog is ultimately all about, what I've been writing about since the start. It's also what I wrote about in my book An Indonesian Love Story.

Indonesia is a land where even a slightly handsome, slightly older foreigner can have as many women as a rock star, where you find yourself with the wonderful worry of asking: when are you going to find all the time for as many women as are chasing you? Whole groups of women want to give you their number. Women on the street, on the bus, in the mall, at the market, on the beach, and at school all stare at you with curiosity, fascination, and barely hidden or unrestrained lust.

There was once a girl on the pete-pete who kept looking at me. She was lovely, full lips, wide eyes, perfectly pretty brown skin, and wearing a jilbab and sweater. The jilbab and sweater was supposed to make her look more modest. But nothing could hide how sensual she was. I stared right at her. She blushed and turned bright red. She called out, “Kiri, pak” and left the pete-pete. So I left the pete-pete too. I could see she was still blushing, even with her very dark skin. I walked up to her and said, “Andah cintah. Anda becara Bahasa Inggris?” She could not answer me and blushed even more. But she gave me her number and two nights later gave me amazing sex.

At the first Indonesian supermarket I went to, there were four women working in the aisles, helping customers find what they wanted. A male worker, the gay friend of the women workers, was talking to one of them. Then he walked up to me, smiled and asked if I thought Indonesian women were beautiful.

“Yes, very pretty, “I said.

“Being Muslim is not a problem?”


“Please, meet my friend.” He pointed with his hand. One of the women workers walked over quickly to us, shy and laughing nervously. I took her phone number, and she wrote down mine. Her three friends all laughed at her nervousness. Then I said, “May I have all your numbers?”

All three squealed and ran towards me, each trying to write faster than their friends. I left there with four numbers. This only took five minutes.

Yet even that cannot compare to when I went to the temples of Borobudur. Indonesian teachers  in or near Jogja often send their students to Borobudur, telling them to speak to any foreigners they meet, to practice their English by asking about who we are, where we are from, our jobs, our hobbies, and so on. You find yourself surrounded by dozens of lovely schoolgirls, all eager to talk to you, take their picture with you, give you their email addresses and hand phone numbers. Many of them are far too young to be with, of course. But it is great fun to flirt with all of them, tell one in each group of four or five girls she is the prettiest and see her blush and get embarrassed. And most of the girls of seventeen or eighteen will gladly meet with you. One day of my travels at Borobudur gave me all the numbers I needed to have a wonderful time with the women of Jogja.

There was another time, when I was at a restaurant with one of my Indonesian girlfriends. There were three women at the next table, dressed very sexy. My girlfriend told me they were speaking about who should talk to me first. Each of them wanted to be with me. Finally they decided all three of them could be my girlfriend at the same time. They all agreed no matter which girl I liked the best, the other two would not be jealous. They discussed what they would do if I asked all three of them to my home. My girlfriend joked that I should try to have sex with all three at once. “You will be a legend!” she laughed.

“And what will you do if I ask you to come to my house at the same time? If I try to be with all four of you?” I asked. She smiled at the thought, but did not say anything more. I could see she was picturing it in her head....

If you are a teacher...the university students will flirt and chase after you, and no one thinks it is wrong. The other unmarried (and sometimes the married) teachers are desired by their female students....Often I had to fend off students flirting in front of the whole class. Still, it is a wonderful feeling for your ego to know there are a dozen pretty Asian students in your class desiring you.

...Mothers and grandmothers also wanted to introduce me to unmarried friends, daughters, granddaughters, and nieces. And even many older women in the streets and malls, who I had never met before, kept introducing me to their daughters, nieces, or unmarried younger friends.


Next time I will discuss partly why this is so.

An American Man is the pen name of the author of An Indonesian Love Story by an American Man, the true story of a westerner’s love and experiences with Indonesian women, a romance and love poem to the people and land of Indonesia.

 Available at

This post is crossposted at my Author’s Blog at and my Facebook page at!/pages/Indonesian-Love-Story/186217388093423

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Attitudes About Sex: Public and Private

Yet another post from my blog at the Jakarta Post.

Attitudes About Sex: Public and Private

My last post offended at least one reader, despite my doing my best not to offend anyone. It seems as though that person would have preferred I just not talk about sex at all. Yet that is at least part of what this blog has always been about.

That points to a pretty big and obvious difference between some Indonesians and most westerners. Many westerners are quite open about sex. Many Indonesians would prefer not to talk about it all…

…At least, not in public. There is an interesting book out (in addition to my own) that talks about the Jakarta that is underground, so to speak. There is an underworld in the city, a part of Indonesian life that is somewhat hidden. There is no shortage of prostitutes or night clubs where some Indonesians go, hoping to find sex. Indonesia also has its share of gay people, just like any other society. To the credit of many Indonesians, gays do not seem to face as much discrimination as they do in some other societies. Many Indonesian gays seem quite open about who and what they are.

Indonesian cultures generally stress that people, especially women, should dress modestly and remain covered. Yet it is not unusual to see Indonesian women wearing a jilbab, but also wear tight clothing, sometimes leggings, or even spandex.

Indonesian cultures stress modesty, yet about half the Indonesian women I have been with enjoyed trying to do naughty things in public, whether in the woods, at movie theaters, or even while in taxis and becaks. (By “naughty” I do not mean just sex. Even holding hands in public seems naughty to some Indonesians.) There was even a place where I went with an Indonesian woman, near a waterfall famous in your country. Near there was an elderly man renting out towels for couple to have sex on in the woods. For a little more money, he would also warn you if there were people coming so you could not get caught. And all on these occasions I was naughty with an Indonesian women in public, most people around us were not offended. Most found it exciting, and some of them cheered us. Nearly all enjoyed watching us, thought it romanctic or daring. Only once did a man tell us to stop. Which we did. We were no trying to offend anyone, and that man actually walked upon us by accident.

Many Indonesian women have told me they remember other incidents of public sex, but not ones where it was anything to celebrate. A few Indonesian men take advantage of the society’s lack of openness about sex to harass women or girls. Several Indonesian women told me they sometimes see men who wait outside public schools and flash their genitals to the girls coming out, or masturbate in front of them. On the buses and the pete petes, sometimes abusive men will grab at the women. One girl told me of a time on the bus where a man behind her rubbed up against her for several minutes. Then she felt a wet spot on her back. She felt she could not say anything because others would blame her and not the man. Another told me how she hated going on buses at night. The men always grab her in the dark. Again, if she says anything, other people on the bus would blame her and not the men.

It is because Indonesian society says that sex must not be talked about in public, these kinds of incidents keep happening. Some people would even blame the women and girls who are the victims, instead of the men who harassed or touched them. In America, such men would go to jail. No one deserves to be harassed, to be groped or harmed.

Openness about sex plays a big part of why some Indonesian women choose to be with foreign men. Openness leads to more sexual knowledge, which leads to greater pleasure and intimacy, not just physical intimacy, but emtional intimacy and romance. Very few foreign men would choose to be with a woman they will not have sex with. I think we all know this, but it is worth writing about for an entire post. Next time.

Again, it’s my hope that these writings do not offend, they enlighten and help others learn.

An American Man is the pen name of the author of An Indonesian Love Story by an American Man, the true story of a westerner’s love and experiences with Indonesian women, a romance and love poem to the people and land of Indonesia.

This post is crossposted at my Author’s Blog at and my Facebook page at

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Modest Dress (Including a Jilbab) Can Be Very Sexy

Yet another post from my Jakarta Post blog.

Modest Dress (Including a Jilbab) Can Be Very Sexy

Believe me when I say this: I do not intend to offend or be very naughty when I write this post. I simply intend to be honest, and give my point of view as a western man who has spent much time in your wonderful country.

I’ve been writing several posts that point to what I love most about the beauty of Indonesian ladies. Part of what I love is that Indonesian women and girls are just that: Ladies. Their clothing is often NOT very skimpy or revealing.

Modesty can be very sexy. It makes a man wonder what is underneath a lady’s clothing. It stirs a man’s interest. It also makes a man feel very manly if he can get her to take that modest clothing off, and no longer be modest when in the private company of a man.

Muslim tradition (and Christian) often says a lady must remain covered. However, Indonesian lovely ladies certainly have very creative ways of getting around those rules. Instead of showing a,lot of skin, they choose to wear wonderfully tight clothing. I have seen Indonesian ladies with extremely tight pants or leggings, including clothing that shows every last curve of their butt and legs, and sometimes even between the legs.

The jilbab itself is very sexy. Believe me when I say this as a western man. While it may be intended to cover a woman’s beauty, it has the effect of drawing a man in, making one look closer at her eyes, her lovely full lips, the curve of her cheek, the small nose that breathes in and out.

In America, there are many Catholic schoolgirls. They dress very modestly, but have a reputation for being sexually very open, and very hungry for men and sex. Part of it is that they are kept locked away from males for most of the school year, and so are very curious once they have a chance to get out. Most American men find the Catholic schoolgirl uniform quite sexy. And this does not intend any offense against Catholics or Catholic beliefs.

In the same way I intend no offense to Muslims or Muslim beliefs. But the jilbab is very sexy because it makes a man very curious about what is beneath it. And often very conservative women and girls have very passionate and sexy natures underneath. I know this from personal experience. The girls who wear jilbab are often naughtier than the girls who dress very sexy and revealing. That modest look on the outside hides a very passionate sexy naughty girl inside.

An American Man is the pen name of the author of An Indonesian Love Story by an American Man, the true story of a westerner’s love and experiences with Indonesian women, a romance and love poem to the people and land of Indonesia.
This post is crossposted at my Author’s Blog at and my Facebook page at