Sunday, October 2, 2011

Why ManyIndonesian Women Like Bules Part II

Another post from my blog at Jakarta Post, crosspoted.

http://imo.thejakartapost.com/anamericanman/2011/10/02/why-many-indonesian-women-like-bules-part-ii/

Why Many Indonesian Women Like Bules Part II

In Part I, I talked about the fact of just how many Indonesian women seem to prefer bules. In Part II, I wish to talk about all the many false reasons about why people think this is so.

1. Bules are more handsome.

No, false. I say this as a bule. Some of us are handsome, some are not handsome at all. I think of myself as a little bit attractive, but not very. I have seen many Indonesian women with bules who, honestly, in their home nations these men would be seen as downright ugly. I once met an Australian man with a huge nose and awkward looking face, chubby, not very tall, who was married to a very lovely woman from Bali. She did not marry him for his looks.

There may be some Indonesian women who think all bules are handsome because of what they see in Hollywood movies. But that changes very quickly once they actually meet bules. Some of the women I have met admitted that they were very glad I was not so white skinned as most bules are. (In skin, eyes, and hair color, I’m darker than most bules, but ligher skinned than most Indonesians.) While they were curious to meet and see up close someone with blond hair or blue eyes, the thought of kissing or sex with such a man was strange to them. That Indonesians call foreigners bules or albinos (people without any skin color) says just how strange some of us look to most of you.
It is wrong to say that all people of a certain group are a certain way. There are always a mix of handsome and not so handsome, beautiful and not so beautiful, among any group of people.

2. Indonesian women are with bule men because they want their money.

 No, false. Most Indonesian women with bules are not poor, they are middle class or even wealthy. Of more than a dozen Indonesian women I have been with, only one was from a poor background. Only one ever asked me for money. One of the women I was with was from the wealthiest family in her hometown. Some of the women bought gifts for me, just as I bought gifts for them. Most of them could afford to travel with me or go to the nice restaurants we went to. And the good places to travel to in Indonesia and the best restaurants I usually learned about from these women.

Most of the very poor in Indonesia are from families that cannot afford school, so they don’t learn English. This means most of the Indonesian women a bule will meet are college educated, often professional women like teachers or other professionals. Several women I was with owned their own businesses.

This makes Indonesian women quite different from other Asian women a western man meets. In the Philippines, Thailand, or Vietnam, the women who want to know you ARE poor. They do just want your money, or to leave their very poor countries. It’s not unusual for a Filipina to marry a foreigner, then ask for money to help out every relative she has. There are entire towns in Thailand supported by young Thai women marrying older foreigners, then leaving them once their money is gone. But such an attitude is not that common for Indonesian women with bules.

4. Indonesian women are with western men because they are looking for sex, or at least curious about it.

Yes, true in many cases. That is what I will be discussing next week in Part III.
———–
An American Man is the pen name of the author of An Indonesian Love Story by an American Man, the true story of a westerner’s love and experiences with Indonesian women, a romance and love poem to the people and land of Indonesia.


This post is crossposted at my Author’s Blog at http://indonesianlovestory.blogspot.com/ and my Facebook page at

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